Weight Loss || My Way



Alright so I’m going to preface this with letting you know that I have PCOS which is what caused my weight gain. I am insulin resistant, therefore my body creates insulin, but doesn’t respond to it. This is not the same as being diabetic as diabetics don’t create insulin. Because my body doesn’t respond to insulin, it doesn’t break down sugars on it’s own – therefore, I had to cut out sugars in order to stop gaining weight.

Cutting out sugar is more than just soda and sweets! There is more sugar in two slices of whole wheat bread, than there is in a Snickers bar. So I cut out all complex carbs. This means:

No Soda

No cake/candy/pastries

No Bread

No pasta/rice/potatoes

I mostly ate meat, veggies, and fruits! Obviously you still have to consume SOME carbs. I kept myself under 80g of carbs a day. Breakfast usually looked like:

Sugar free oatmeal (NOT low carb or low sugar, but sugar free!)

Fiber One bar


Apple (or any fruits really)

For lunch, I’m really lazy and hate planning meals so I still ate out a lot:

-Chicken nuggets/tenders


-lettuce wrapped burgers

-Chile Reno’s


Whatever meats and veggies I wanted:

-Steak/Pork Chops/Chicken

-Cottage Cheese

-Green Beans

-French Onion Soup

Now the medicine the doctor put me on increased my insulin sensitivity which meant that i did need to have SOME sugars – usually I found it in fruits. The medicine also cause me to be super sensitive to sugars – so anytime I ate too many sugars/carbs – I ended up really sick. This obviously made it easier for me to stick to my diet.



Excercise. I know that sounds shitty – I tried a little bit at first, going on hikes once a week and hitting the gym, but I honestly just hate it and would much rather be doing nearly anything else.

Count Callories – counting carbs is hard enough, don’t make it more complicated.

Cut out dairy – When you’re already giving up soda, candy, cake, pasta, rice, potatoes and everything else you love, You can’t give up cheese too!

Eat Yogurt – I don’t care how much it says “low calorie” “greek” “low fat” it’s loaded with fucking sugar!

Be a Nazi – give yourself one PLANNED cheat meal a week. I say planned because if you don’t set aside a day, you’ll find yourself calling any day you want a “cheat day” and notice i didn’t say cheat day, but meal! I always set aside Thursday nights to get Buffalo Wild Wings with my best friend, the wings were low carb, but I would get fries and a beer! ;)



Alright so there are times when you just have a sweet tooth or your out friends and cave, here are some options:

Coke Zero – seriously enough with “aspertine causes cancer” everything causes fucking cancer! You microwave your food don’t you?

Peanut Butter

Almonds (i promise you after no sweets, almonds begin to taste sweet)

Sugar Free Jello

Splenda anything!

Sugar Free ice cream (one scoop only!)




I lost 10lbs a month, my first two months, and 5lbs a month each month after that. I average 2lbs a week at first and 1lb a week later on.

I weighed myself every day, multiple times a day, completely naked! I liked seeing the scale move even if just by an ounce!

You always weight less first thing in the morning (use the toilet first)

I never lost weight the week before my period, and would even gain a little some times, but would always lose double the week of my period.

I’m not a sponsor by any means, but Garcinia Combogia works! It lessens the appetite and makes you shit more! I got the free sample ($5 shipping) to start and once i decided i liked it, I got the more expensive stuff from GNC or vitamin world ($18-$26)

I did this hardcore for about 3 – 4 months, once I was more satisfied with my weight i slowly started introducing potatoes (sweet potatoes are less sugary and higher in fiber), corn products (corn tortillas and chips), and the occasional glutton free pasta back into my life.

Also – I still drank. Wine and Whiskey usually make me shit a lot of the next day, so I figured i wasn’t really keeping it in my system anyway.


I took the time that I had planned to update chapter 27 tonight, to write this instead, therefore, if you haven’t read my Liam fanfic, GO READ IT NOW!

If you have, share it with someone who hasn’t!




Modern Women & Lifetime Movies.

I’ve always joked that my life could be made into a Lifetime Movie, but it wasn’t until recently that I realized, Lifetime Movies are shit and I would be ashamed to ever have one based off of myself. Not because of the content, no I long ago accepted that my life stemmed from a long line of white trash. My mom was in and out of mental hospitals, my sister had two kids before she was 18, my dad spent some time married to a meth addicted before saying I Do for the fourth time before he was 40, and all the while I was heavily involved in a near-cult-like church. I have all the makings of a made-for-tv movie, except for the weak, over emotional personality.

Lifetime movies give women excuses to act like pathetic victims. Lifetime movies tell people if they’re bullied, it’s normal to try and kill themselves, if they’re raised by an alcoholic parent – the acceptable response is to get knocked up at 16 and move in with your abusive boyfriend. When do you see a movie where a chick has a shitty ass life, and despite it all, perseveres through the fate stacked against her and end up on top? No, the closest you get is a 17 year old who ends up with custody of her 3 younger siblings #LifeDream.

Despite all the setbacks life has thrown at me, the only real quirk I’ve developed from it all, is a lack of interest in relationships. Not to say that I don’t want a man to hold me close to his side at night, but I’m not desperate for love. It’s a defense mechanism, I don’t want to get hurt. Contrary to the progressively modern woman, I am not comfortable being intimate with someone I am not close to on a friendly/emotional level. I know the world is all about how men and woman should feel equally comfortable to have sex with whomever they want, and however many ‘whomevers’ they want, but I am not. There is a sense of power in being able to say “I don’t care” and I can have sex without emotions being involved, but the truth is, I can’t. I don’t know if that makes me weak, needy or clingy, but I’d rather be honest with myself, then end up hurt trying to be someone that I’m not.

So naturally, I am suspicious of anyone who tries to get close to me as a friend, because I assume they’re trying to coerce me into trusting them so I’ll sleep with them. Crazy? Paranoid? Trust and intimacy issues? Probably. But considering everything, I think it’s a very small consequence to a life full of shitty circumstances.

Doctoring One Direction (Harry Styles Fiction)

Emerald Evans is an intern for a highly established doctor in the heart of London. Summer break is coming, and as she sifts through her options, her boss offers her an opportunity she just can’t resist. The ever famous pop group One Direction is in need of an on-call doctor to travel with them while on tour.

After an already rough run in with none other than Mr. H Styles, she’s unsure if going back to the summer camp she usually works at, isn’t the better option , but when shown the amount of money she would be making, Emerald makes the tough call to travel the world with 1D. With her best friend and boy friend both traveling for the summer as well, she really isn’t leaving much behind.

But before she can even board the plane, Harry’s antics are already driving her crazy. With his arrogant attitude and every media station boasting his number of lays, Emerald’s pre-disposed opinion of the world’s number one hearthrob is at it’s lowest.

But with tensions high and a body that hot, all the arguing can only lead to one thing, and fighting is just not Harry’s style.


Sadly – the potential this story had to be really sexy and fun, wasn’t met. It’s a good story none the less, the writing isn’t awful and it flows well. My biggest complaint would be the other boys. Their character’s are written too feminine. If a girl runs away crying, boy’s don’t chase her concerned (unless they’re looking to get fucked) they look wide-eyed at each other, feel awkward, eat some chips and go back to the video game because no guy wants to deal with some crying bitch. Reality is harsh sweetie but no one is attracted to a girly-man.

Overall, the story was decent, but I didn’t find myself falling in love with the characters.


You may ask why it is I am writing a blog post when I have yet to update chapter 25. I hear you, and I promise it is coming, I’ve been working on it all week. I wouldn’t say that I have writers block, but just feeling a bit disorganized. I’m so overwhelmed with everything that takes place in this chapter that I literally feel panicked while writing it.

One time at a line, I know.

But I really have the need to write about all these little flutterlfies in my heart at the moment.

I mentioned in the post “Living in Content” How I got a kiss from my crush. I feel the need to go back and revisit that story. I have had a crush on Julian Bunetta for some time now. It started out that he just seemed to pay extra attention to my friend and I on Twitter, and then we added him on Snapchat, and I would just chat with him. About work, tattoo’s, how I couldn’t sleep at night, just random stuff. Now when I say we talked, I don’t mean we had long drawn out conversations, but it would be like 1 or 2 messages a day over the course of a week.

So the day of the first Rosebowl show, I sent him a picture captioned “You need to find me tonight!” I knew there was going to be about 90,000 people there and that I had no chance of meeting him, but, you can’t blame a girl for trying, right? He opened the picture but didn’t respond, which had me pretty annoyed, but I told myself that he was probably super busy with concert stuff.

So I get to the stadium, order myself a huge ass beer, and make my way through the crowd of squealing teenagers that literally lose their shit every time an escalade drives by, to try and find my seat. A gate opens, ropes go up, and I’m caught in the middle of security guards and a tall person, who, when I look up, turns out to be Julian.

Without even thinking about a clever, posh way to present myself, I exclaimed “Oh my gosh! Julian!”

The moment it came out of my mouth, I worried about whether I was going to have to explain who I was (awkwardly) or, if he did recognize me, if he was going to run to try and avoid me. But neither happened.

He looked down at me, his face lit up, and he’s suddenly telling whomever he’s on the phone with that he has to go and he’ll call them back later. I hadn’t even noticed he was on the phone, but, way to make me feel special babe!

He pocketed his phone and wrapped his arms around me, rocking from side to side and smoothing my hair, he whispered “We did it, we found each other.” and then kissed my forehead.  My smart ass wanted to say “As if you were actually looking.” But thankfully I was still too tongue tied to make out my own name, let alone anything else. (If you are squealing your heart out now, I promise you, I was literally dying inside for a month)

At this point security starts ushering us to move out of the way because cars are getting ready to drive through. I, finally able to speak, said “I’d rather see you than them anyway.” He put his hand on the small of my back and guided me to the other side of the rope so that I could take a picture with him. I was shaking so badly and trying not to spill my beer everywhere (I failed btw). He took a picture with his arms around me kissing my forehead, and then quickly moved to stand behind me and kiss the top of my head. I turned to hug him good bye and say thank you when he said “Wait! One more!” and he knelt down next to me and smiled, and I decided to turn and kiss him this time! He said “Oh yeah! I like that!” and you know… my heart fell out of my ass. Once the last picture was taken he hugged me goodbye and said “See you on the phone” slyly – complete with a wink.

And of course, per my typical life, my friend taking the picture didn’t know to ‘save’ the picture after you take it, so only the last one got saved, and, I look horrendous! I am easily the least photogenic person I know, but that was especially awful.

As many of you may already know, he went with Niall to Vegas that weekend, was captured in pics and videos with him, gained like 20K new followers, and doesn’t talk to me nearly as much as he use to. It doesn’t help that he’s also been out of state (and country) since mid-September.

So I’ve spent the last two months living off of the occasional Favorited tweet, smiley face, or simple response while I watch him engage with annoying ass Larry shippers on the daily.

Yesterday morning I was on a particular Julian high as I had received a snap from him on my way to work (It was just a smiley face, but, whatever), and spent the whole day at work just – thinking about him.

And when I think about someone, I use the computer to help fuel my thoughts. By the end of the work day, I knew everything I needed to know about the my future husband and in-laws (don’t judge – you know you do that shit too!)The only difference is, you probably do it with a boy you met at school that you kind of know, or a celebrity that you will never meet anyway.

After work I went to Jamie Scott’s show at The Troubadour. I had gone the night before and met part of 1D’s crew, so I thought it would be a smart move to go again, plus it was better than driving home in traffic. I got their early and planted a seat at the bar. I don’t care if you’re at an event with the pope, Obama, or the Queen of England, the most important person in the room, is always the bartender. I sat down and started chatting about everything: my 1D obsession, my huge ass crush on Julian, my recent weight loss, my new job, my life goals. We were practically sisters after only an hour.

A tall guy in a pea coat with a very ‘Andrew Garfield’ look about him, shows up at the bar and my heart beat starts to speed up. My hands fumble to text my best friend and I take deep breaths to calm myself until I can get confirmation. When him and the rest of the girls at the bar excited about being old enough to be in a bar – all leave, I ask the bartender to check the name on his passport for me.

After fumbling through receipts before realizing I said the one person who used a passport, she confirms for me.

“Damon Bunetta, is that what you were looking for.”

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT!” I yell, causing only a few stares (most people were watching the show at this point) before I start laughing and shaking my head.

I explain to the bartender that the guy I was talking about liking earlier, that was his brother. She encouraged me to go and say hello. I ordered another drink first, double shot this time. Liquid courage is a beautiful thing. The next time he walked through I hopped up and tapped his shoulder.

“Excuse, I know this is really strange, but, may I have a quick picture with you?”

He smiles and looks over at his girl friend before looking back to me.

“Sure, but, may I ask why?”

“Umm.. well, I kind of have this huge crush on your brother…..”

He laughed and put his arm around me while his girlfriend offered to take the picture.

“So how did you know I was his brother?”

“Uh… google…” Yeah. I fucking said Google. Didn’t think to mention that I’ve seen them in pictures together, no, I fucking admit to being a crazy ass stalker! He was cool about it and laughed though.

“So are you going to send this picture to him?”

“Of course, I’m snapchatting it to him.”

We went on to make small talk about Jamie Scott, and a few other people who were there that we both knew (And by ‘knew’ I mean he knew them, and I had just only met them once or twice). His girlfriend asked me who I liked more, him or One Direction – I had to explain how I was offered VIP 1D tickets the night before and asked for the person to set me up with Julian instead (true story). Eventually they went off to their seats and I went back to my seat at the bar.

I play with my phone a bit. Order another drink, and try to calm myself down. After about fifteen minutes, Damon comes back in to order more drinks for himself and he stands next to me at the bar, asking if Julian has responded yet. I checked and let him know that he opened the picture, but didn’t respond, and proceeded to call him an asshole. He laughed and said he was going to text him. God I wish I knew what that conversation consisted of. He joked about how I still wasn’t watching the show, and I assured him that I was singing along to every song, I just didn’t want to stand in heels all night.

He goes back to his seat, the shows goes on, and more people come in and out of the bar. Jamie plays his last song and I let the bartender know that he’s going to do an encore so she shouldn’t get a rush for another 20 minutes or so.

Damon and his girlfriend come back into the bar with a large group of people and I turn the other way and look engrossed in my phone so I don’t draw attention to myself. This was to no avail though, as the group of people Damon came back into the bar with, turned out to be his family, and he wanted to introduce me to them all!

I was beyond embarrassed. In an excited way of course but the “Dad dad, you have to meet this girl, she’s a fan of your sons! Jamie this is Papa Bunetta” I was completely stunned. I shook his hand and he sat down next to meet and started talking. He asked about which songs I’ve heard on the new album, which were my favorites, told me of his favorites and memories putting the album together. We talked about the new sound the boys have, other artists he’s worked with, where I work, my dad – it was a beautiful 20 minutes.

Then Damon wanted to introduce me to his mother as well. I covered my face and told him I was embarrassed and he said it’s nothing to be embarrassed about; that they were all so excited to hear that Julian has fans. His mom asked me if I was really a fan of him, or just One Direction (hello, I mean, I recognized his brother in a crowded bar #Dedication) so I showed her the wallpaper on my phone. She got excited, took my phone from me and started showing everyone how cute her son was. It was great!

And of course, before they all left, they each came over and gave me a hug goodbye and said how nice it was to have met me. They even used my name – so you know – they remembered it!

I am in heaven and it’s going to take awhile for me to get over this. So in conclusion – the moral of this piece is – that it’s REALLY hard to write a love story about Liam Payne – when my heart is dancing to the beat of Julian’s drums.

different ▸ m.c.



That’s exactly what this story is. It’s original, it’s off the trail, and it’s definitely different.

Allie is the new girl in school, because no one is creative enough to write anything unique. Why can’t people just know each other forever? Or maybe they’ve been in the same school for years but just ran in different crowds and never paid any attention to each other? No? Too difficult? Alright, well.. I tried.

Allie is the new girl and Michael is the weirdo creep across the street. Allie doesn’t care how weird he is though and despite the fact that she’s pretty, people like her, and Luke Hemmings has an interest, she likes the creepy boy with no friends and a death glare. But Michael isn’t just your typical social outcast ‘i hate my life’ teenage boy, he’s your untypical social outcast ‘i hate my life’ teenage boy with demons who haunt him. These demons have made it their mission to make Michael’s life miserable by killing off anyone that he gets close to (accept his mother, because we love plot holes!)

Michael tries to stay away from Allie, but after just two months of casual flirtations, he’s in love, and the demons are pissed!


If you’re laughing, rolling your eyes, or shitting yourself out of pure disgust, you’re not alone. Honestly though, it was a decent story. The scenes where they grew closer as friends and flirted, they were cute and realistic. They were probably the only realistic scenes in the book, but hey, it’s fanfiction. It does get scary and their are deaths – but it’s a fairly quick read so if you’re int he mood for something Different and don’t care too much about realism – give it a read.


Living in content.

You would think after 3 nights in a row of the Rosebowl – that I would want to give a full recap of every detailed happening, the truth is, I learned while writing my VMA recap (which I still haven’t finished and probably never will) that recaps are really boring to write. You think I would at least want to drone on about meeting and getting a kiss from my crush! (Best thing ever) But in all honesty, whats been on my mind for weeks now, was brought up at least twice this weekend.

Thursday night I was planning on going to the show alone when last minute an old friend called and asked if she could tag along. Tickets were cheap and we hadn’t hung out in a long time so I figured why not.

After only 20 minutes together, she had finally said the phrase that I had been expecting, ” You’ve changed. I feel like I don’t even know you anymore.”

She isn’t the only person whose said it recently, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot as well. I believe my two closest friends can vouch for the fact that I haven’t changed so much as,  become more myself. For years now I have been suppressing and shaping my personality to create the person I hoped to be in the future, rather than just accepting who I am. The language I used, the way I dressed, the activities I participated in were all in the hopes of attracting the type of man that I thought I would want to father my children.

From the first moment you tell your parents “That’s not fair!” you begin creating the ideals that you will one day want to raise your children by. I have wanted nothing more out of life, than to create the family that I wish I had grown up in. In my family, you only earn respect by being a parent, therefore, I was going to be a better parent than any of the rest of them. I was going to have polite, respectful, smart and successful children. I was going to be married first, and stay with him forever. I was going to do everything the right way, and therefore, everything I did leading up to that, had to be done in such a way that I would attract the type of man to be my partner in all of this.

In March of this year, all of this was torn apart when I finally sought a doctor after ongoing symptoms that I could no longer ignore. The news delivered to me: “You have PCOS – you may never be able to conceive without fertility treatments”  was some of the hardest news I have ever received. I had been suspecting it for months, but, was in denial about it. I went through all 5 stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Barginning, Depression, and finally Acceptance.

Acceptance came in a way that was unexpected though. Upon accepting the fact that I may never have children, I also came to realize how intricately this plan had controlled my life. Without the possibility of children, so many things that had been important to me before (being modest, using nice language, submission) all seemed pointless now. I felt free to be who I really was without trying to suppress myself to attract my ideal guy.

I also noticed my lack of contentment in life before. My same, aforementioned friend, had also made the statement “I think it’s funny how people your age think that this, now, is all that there will ever be. The things you want in life now, aren’t what you’re going to want in 5 years.” My answer? I’m not looking for what’s going to happen in 5 years, for once in life, I’m happy with who I am, and where I am, right now. All through life people are constantly looking forward to the next stage, rather than enjoying where there at now. When you’re in high school, you can’t wait for college. When you’re in college – you can’t wait to get married. Once you’re married – you can’t wait to have kids. It’s never ending and you’re never content with where you are at.

Not knowing what will happen in my future and feeling free to be myself, allows me to enjoy where I am now. Right now, I like to write, so that’s what I do. Writing has been my solace to losing the imaginary babies I had dreamed of for so long. I’m doing something I love to do, to create something new, that’s a reflection of myself. MY stories are my children, and I am content with that.

Best Friends and Buffalo Wings

Do you ever have those nights where you plan the perfect girls-night-out, only for it to be a total flop. You’ve got movies, wine, and juicy gossip, but instead spend the whole time liking pictures on Instagram and barely speaking too each other. We’ve had plenty of those, but last night was the total opposite. Last minute we decide – hey, we’re craving some buffalo wings. It’s been over a week since our last trip to BWW, we should go.

After ten years you think we would have covered every topic of life multiple times (and we have, often repeating the same conversation from 6 months before) but last night our chat went further in One Direction, than it has ever gone before.

Sex Stories.

Oh we’ve shared all of our recent stories,  but last night we took it back old school – or well – elementary school to be more accurate. It’s a long standing joke that kids play doctor (or house) and make their first discoveries of the opposite sex. So last night we shared our unconventional stories of childhood self ( and other) discovery. I’ll spare you the details because, no one needs to know, plus I don’t need a shit load of pedo’s on here wanking to this shit.

So after a couple of hours of secret sharing and PG girl bonding, we head back home. Seems simple enough except – “No left turns” and I didn’t have time to cut across 4 lanes of traffic to try and make a U-Turn #CaliforniaProblems so, I decided to make a right at the next stop light and just go around the block.

After running a red light, making a random turn, and ending up on a back road with a shitload of construction – we finally decide to use our phones to navigate us home. We miss a couple of turns due to talking and more construction, but finally make it to the freeway.

10 minutes down the freeway, and I realize that, I am going the wrong direction on the freeway. Fuck.

Get off. Turn Around. Get back on.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Gas tank is empty.


We can make it though. I get like 25 miles to the gallon, we should be alright.

So we turn up the tunes and relish in the fact that we’re finally on the right track.



That was my exit.


Seriously! We didn’t have a single drink the whole night.


Australia – An Ashton Irwin fanfic

I only finish about 1/10 of the fanfics that I start to read. 7/10 are closed before I even finish the first chapter and 2/10 I give up on after about 5 chapters. If as an author, you ever come across one of my reviews, please take it as a compliment that your story was even finished and chosen for a review. No matter how many things I complain about, I finished reading it.

Australia is probably one of my favorite fan fictions that I have found. Please note that After was the first non-Harry Potter fan fiction I ever read, and although I complained about it the entire time I read it, every story I read is slightly compared to that. That being said, this is the best one I’ve read since then (although, I’ve read a lot of shitty stories so I don’t know if that is saying much).

Juliette is in her Junior year of high school when she joins an exchange program and goes to school in Australia for a year. Her and her best friend, Caleb, are excited for the opportunity, but Juliette has promised herself ‘No Flings’ which, seems like a silly commitment to make considering she’s never even hugged a boy romantically. Of course her first day of class she meets none other than Ashton Irwin. Ashton is sexy as fuck (my words, not hers), but she does her best to resist his forward attempts to charm her.

She’s interested though, and Caleb gives her the push she needs to accept his offer. After one over-the-top romantic date, Juliette is already dreaming of the “L-word” and Caleb is suspicious of this new guys intentions. J and C fight and J continues dating A. It’s perfect bliss for months, but then comes the jealousy. Ashton is jealous of the friendship Juliette has built with his best friend and band mate Luke, Juliette is jealous of Ashton’s childhood friend (and permanent cling on), Charli, who happens to be sleeping with Caleb. Then Luke shows up with a new girl and Juliette is jealous of her, but new-girl kisses Ash…. and hell.

The story fucking ends.

Seriously, the chick hasn’t updated in 3 months and it’s killing me! I honestly just want to know what happens when she goes back to America. Does Ash and his band become famous and move to America too? Does Juliette decide to stay and live in Australia? I guess we’ll never know because some people don’t understand that when you start a fanfiction, it is a commitment! #DeadBeat

He’s No Good – Zayn Malik

Eleven million views and 200K votes. The writer is not a native English speaker (She’s from Switzerland or some shit). Despite this setback, it’s pretty good.

The story starts as Zoe begins her last year of high school at a new school. She falls into a group of cool friends: Harry, Liam, Danielle, Niall, Tamara, and Louis. But when her neighbor whom she’s only met briefly on her way to school, gives her a sly smile across the lunch room, they all warn her to stay away from him. Zayn is a murderer they say. But if he’s a murderer, what’s he doing in high school? Zoe finds out as she continues to grow closer to the mysterious boy next door.

Zayn is the tatted up delinquent with a dark past. Since his latest run in with the law, he is trying to straighten out his life, while still remaining close to his boys that have his back (and his secrets). What better motivation than the sexy new virgin across the street.

So the Negatives:

– Zayn is a fuck up because his daddy use to abuse him and his mom. Seriously, this is getting really overdone, but, I’ve come to accept that that’s all I’m ever going to find in a fan fiction.
– The writer is not a native English speaker and this is apparent in certain chapters, but overall, it is mostly unnoticeable.
– The ending. Seriously, probably the worst ending I’ve ever read in a story. And although there is a sequel, it’s actually a prequel, so the story ending is very abrupt and strange.


– The one time Zayn cries, it’s a justified reason, and he does more breaking things than crying. He also is embarrassed by it. As a real man should be.
– The sex scenes are spot on!

**EDIT: So it turns out the ‘abrupt’ ending was because the book wasn’t completed. I found the book while searching wattpad for completed stories so I was confused, but I spoke with the author today and she is still writing! =) I’ll be more careful next time 08/31/14


VMA Weekend Recap – Saturday

So as I logged into WordPress to write this review, I noticed there was a new post from the only person I follow on here, Jackie @ thebitchbible.com and she was talking about how ‘recaps’ are boring, and for half a second i thought, should i? But then I thought, “what the hell is the point in going if I don’t get to brag about it for a week afterwards?” So here we go:

My #VMA2014 weekend started on Saturday. my friend Brittney got us tickets to the Taco Bell (classy eh?) Artist’s to Watch Pre-VMA party. We pile 6 of us into a 5-seater car, pump up the old school 1D music (Ma-Ah-Ah-Gic), and try not to piss myself on the one hour drive in traffic to downtown LA.

At this point in the day, I had had a gallon of ice tea and a 32oz can of Redbull. I felt every bump we went over and was seriously considering pissing in a cup. We finally got off the freeway and I hopped out of the car the moment it stopped. I ran down the street to the nearest restaurant that wanted me to buy something just so I could piss in their bathroom. I promised I’d get something afterwards if they would just hand me the fucking key. But no, bitch wanted to sit on her damn cell phone and ignore the 23 year old girl doing a potty dance in a crop top right in front of her.

Enough about that though, this is about the VMA’s after all. Kind of. So once I relieved myself we stood in line for an hour waiting to get wrist banded and herded in. I love to people watch so line waiting can be a fun experience for me. May I just say that casting and ticket agencies really need to do a better job at giving a dress code? Everyone’s interpretation of  “casual, hip & trendy” are SO different that I’m not sure if they ever get what it is they’re looking for. On one end you’ve got chicks in board shorts and baseball T’s which, even if you’re a lesbian, is NEVER cute, and on the other end you’ve got 16 year olds in floor length ball gowns with 8″ platforms. (Spice Girls much?). I think I hit the mark with a jean crop top and white skirt. There was one girl though, who made sure everyone was trying to hit her mark. You know how dresses and skirts have this cute little inverted V cut out in front of the vag area ( subliminal message), this chicks was cut out so you could see her vag. Personally, I think she should have been arrested for indecent exposure, but, maybe that’s my inner Sunday-school teacher coming out.

Once in the club, it was really nice. I’m not much of a dancer, I have no hips, no rhythm, and country girl genes. After a shot of Fireball and an Adios I was feeling like I at least wanted to try. They played typical, top 40, club type music while we waited for the first Artist to Watch to take the stage.

White Arrows comes on stage and like 20 girls started screaming. I looked at my friend like “wtf is there to scream about? None of them are cute.” I really have nothing to say about this performance other than the lead singer was really creepy, kept rolling his eyes into the back of his head (earning him the name ‘demon man” by most of the crowd) and he totes took some chicks into a back room afterwards. #TooUglyForGroupies The best part was when they finished and chicks came out of the sides to give burritos to the crowd. Straight up – burritos were flying everywhere, and for me being short I actually got quite a few.

Next up was another group I had never heard of called Bleachers. The guy was dressed a bit strange, actually, they all were. Lead singer had on some shorts with his boxers hanging out below the cuffs, one of the drummers had a crew neck sweater with the sleeves cut off, and another guy was trying to dress like Harry Styles with his fedora and floral print top. #Failed I didn’t know any of their music, but, the guy was totally fun getting the crowd involved and jumping down into the audience. My friend was convinced he was a Jew and he confirmed this by saying he was from New Jersey.

Lastly there was the act everyone had been waiting for – Charli XCX. I was expecting an old bald black guy  (seriously, I’m clueless to the world outside my fandom) so I was surprised to see a 17 year old girl in a nightie and bathrobe. She was decent, I recognized a few songs. I found it super creepy that she was letting guys in the front row reach up and rub her legs, but hey, when you have mediocre talent, I guess that’s how you get places in life.

Anyway, we were ready to get out of there and head to the Four Seasons to do some 5SoS stalking. What does it say about my life when I would rather wait outside a hotel in the dead of the night over dancing at a club? #Pathetic Obviously it was pointless as we didn’t see anyone other than some creepy ass cab drivers trying to decide if I was a prostitute and some Twitter personality known as Stalker Sarah.  (Apparently I was supposed to know who this is?)

At 1:30am, we finally decided it was time to head back to Cerritos. Half of us had tickets for the VMAs the next morning and needed to be up early. The alcohol I drank wasn’t able to overpower the amount of caffeine I had had earlier in the day and I was still wound up and hyper. Which was for the best because at 2:30am, one mile from our exit off of the 605 freeway, we hit something and popped a tire.

Now I’ve always wondered what sort of disaster would come of a blown tire on the freeway, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as I had imagined. We were able to navigate our way to the shoulder and, once everyone was assured that we were still alive, we laughed. It’s now technically Sunday morning, no place is open, we’re all dressed like hookers, and no one has their AAA card.

By 3:30am we’ve got a tow truck on the way, Brittney’s fiance has come to trade us cars so some of us can get home before the police get there and see we have more people than seat belts, and him and Britt are staying to wait for help to come. So I get back to Britt’s place with her sister and decide that I’m just gonna sleep there, not even trying to drive back to Ontario at that point.

4:30am hits. I’m finally make-up free, in pajamas, curled under blankets, and a wide-a-frigging-wake! Sarah and I are up talking about Michael Clifford fanfics, cause I mean, whats better than that (except for my Liam one of course) when she get’s a text. Apparently some rapper got stabbed at Chris Browns pre-party, and it was at that point, that i decided it was time to sleep.