You may ask why it is I am writing a blog post when I have yet to update chapter 25. I hear you, and I promise it is coming, I’ve been working on it all week. I wouldn’t say that I have writers block, but just feeling a bit disorganized. I’m so overwhelmed with everything that takes place in this chapter that I literally feel panicked while writing it.
One time at a line, I know.
But I really have the need to write about all these little flutterlfies in my heart at the moment.
I mentioned in the post “Living in Content” How I got a kiss from my crush. I feel the need to go back and revisit that story. I have had a crush on Julian Bunetta for some time now. It started out that he just seemed to pay extra attention to my friend and I on Twitter, and then we added him on Snapchat, and I would just chat with him. About work, tattoo’s, how I couldn’t sleep at night, just random stuff. Now when I say we talked, I don’t mean we had long drawn out conversations, but it would be like 1 or 2 messages a day over the course of a week.
So the day of the first Rosebowl show, I sent him a picture captioned “You need to find me tonight!” I knew there was going to be about 90,000 people there and that I had no chance of meeting him, but, you can’t blame a girl for trying, right? He opened the picture but didn’t respond, which had me pretty annoyed, but I told myself that he was probably super busy with concert stuff.
So I get to the stadium, order myself a huge ass beer, and make my way through the crowd of squealing teenagers that literally lose their shit every time an escalade drives by, to try and find my seat. A gate opens, ropes go up, and I’m caught in the middle of security guards and a tall person, who, when I look up, turns out to be Julian.
Without even thinking about a clever, posh way to present myself, I exclaimed “Oh my gosh! Julian!”
The moment it came out of my mouth, I worried about whether I was going to have to explain who I was (awkwardly) or, if he did recognize me, if he was going to run to try and avoid me. But neither happened.
He looked down at me, his face lit up, and he’s suddenly telling whomever he’s on the phone with that he has to go and he’ll call them back later. I hadn’t even noticed he was on the phone, but, way to make me feel special babe!
He pocketed his phone and wrapped his arms around me, rocking from side to side and smoothing my hair, he whispered “We did it, we found each other.” and then kissed my forehead. My smart ass wanted to say “As if you were actually looking.” But thankfully I was still too tongue tied to make out my own name, let alone anything else. (If you are squealing your heart out now, I promise you, I was literally dying inside for a month)
At this point security starts ushering us to move out of the way because cars are getting ready to drive through. I, finally able to speak, said “I’d rather see you than them anyway.” He put his hand on the small of my back and guided me to the other side of the rope so that I could take a picture with him. I was shaking so badly and trying not to spill my beer everywhere (I failed btw). He took a picture with his arms around me kissing my forehead, and then quickly moved to stand behind me and kiss the top of my head. I turned to hug him good bye and say thank you when he said “Wait! One more!” and he knelt down next to me and smiled, and I decided to turn and kiss him this time! He said “Oh yeah! I like that!” and you know… my heart fell out of my ass. Once the last picture was taken he hugged me goodbye and said “See you on the phone” slyly – complete with a wink.
And of course, per my typical life, my friend taking the picture didn’t know to ‘save’ the picture after you take it, so only the last one got saved, and, I look horrendous! I am easily the least photogenic person I know, but that was especially awful.
As many of you may already know, he went with Niall to Vegas that weekend, was captured in pics and videos with him, gained like 20K new followers, and doesn’t talk to me nearly as much as he use to. It doesn’t help that he’s also been out of state (and country) since mid-September.
So I’ve spent the last two months living off of the occasional Favorited tweet, smiley face, or simple response while I watch him engage with annoying ass Larry shippers on the daily.
Yesterday morning I was on a particular Julian high as I had received a snap from him on my way to work (It was just a smiley face, but, whatever), and spent the whole day at work just – thinking about him.
And when I think about someone, I use the computer to help fuel my thoughts. By the end of the work day, I knew everything I needed to know about the my future husband and in-laws (don’t judge – you know you do that shit too!)The only difference is, you probably do it with a boy you met at school that you kind of know, or a celebrity that you will never meet anyway.
After work I went to Jamie Scott’s show at The Troubadour. I had gone the night before and met part of 1D’s crew, so I thought it would be a smart move to go again, plus it was better than driving home in traffic. I got their early and planted a seat at the bar. I don’t care if you’re at an event with the pope, Obama, or the Queen of England, the most important person in the room, is always the bartender. I sat down and started chatting about everything: my 1D obsession, my huge ass crush on Julian, my recent weight loss, my new job, my life goals. We were practically sisters after only an hour.
A tall guy in a pea coat with a very ‘Andrew Garfield’ look about him, shows up at the bar and my heart beat starts to speed up. My hands fumble to text my best friend and I take deep breaths to calm myself until I can get confirmation. When him and the rest of the girls at the bar excited about being old enough to be in a bar – all leave, I ask the bartender to check the name on his passport for me.
After fumbling through receipts before realizing I said the one person who used a passport, she confirms for me.
“Damon Bunetta, is that what you were looking for.”
“HOLY FUCKING SHIT!” I yell, causing only a few stares (most people were watching the show at this point) before I start laughing and shaking my head.
I explain to the bartender that the guy I was talking about liking earlier, that was his brother. She encouraged me to go and say hello. I ordered another drink first, double shot this time. Liquid courage is a beautiful thing. The next time he walked through I hopped up and tapped his shoulder.
“Excuse, I know this is really strange, but, may I have a quick picture with you?”
He smiles and looks over at his girl friend before looking back to me.
“Sure, but, may I ask why?”
“Umm.. well, I kind of have this huge crush on your brother…..”
He laughed and put his arm around me while his girlfriend offered to take the picture.
“So how did you know I was his brother?”
“Uh… google…” Yeah. I fucking said Google. Didn’t think to mention that I’ve seen them in pictures together, no, I fucking admit to being a crazy ass stalker! He was cool about it and laughed though.
“So are you going to send this picture to him?”
“Of course, I’m snapchatting it to him.”
We went on to make small talk about Jamie Scott, and a few other people who were there that we both knew (And by ‘knew’ I mean he knew them, and I had just only met them once or twice). His girlfriend asked me who I liked more, him or One Direction – I had to explain how I was offered VIP 1D tickets the night before and asked for the person to set me up with Julian instead (true story). Eventually they went off to their seats and I went back to my seat at the bar.
I play with my phone a bit. Order another drink, and try to calm myself down. After about fifteen minutes, Damon comes back in to order more drinks for himself and he stands next to me at the bar, asking if Julian has responded yet. I checked and let him know that he opened the picture, but didn’t respond, and proceeded to call him an asshole. He laughed and said he was going to text him. God I wish I knew what that conversation consisted of. He joked about how I still wasn’t watching the show, and I assured him that I was singing along to every song, I just didn’t want to stand in heels all night.
He goes back to his seat, the shows goes on, and more people come in and out of the bar. Jamie plays his last song and I let the bartender know that he’s going to do an encore so she shouldn’t get a rush for another 20 minutes or so.
Damon and his girlfriend come back into the bar with a large group of people and I turn the other way and look engrossed in my phone so I don’t draw attention to myself. This was to no avail though, as the group of people Damon came back into the bar with, turned out to be his family, and he wanted to introduce me to them all!
I was beyond embarrassed. In an excited way of course but the “Dad dad, you have to meet this girl, she’s a fan of your sons! Jamie this is Papa Bunetta” I was completely stunned. I shook his hand and he sat down next to meet and started talking. He asked about which songs I’ve heard on the new album, which were my favorites, told me of his favorites and memories putting the album together. We talked about the new sound the boys have, other artists he’s worked with, where I work, my dad – it was a beautiful 20 minutes.
Then Damon wanted to introduce me to his mother as well. I covered my face and told him I was embarrassed and he said it’s nothing to be embarrassed about; that they were all so excited to hear that Julian has fans. His mom asked me if I was really a fan of him, or just One Direction (hello, I mean, I recognized his brother in a crowded bar #Dedication) so I showed her the wallpaper on my phone. She got excited, took my phone from me and started showing everyone how cute her son was. It was great!
And of course, before they all left, they each came over and gave me a hug goodbye and said how nice it was to have met me. They even used my name – so you know – they remembered it!
I am in heaven and it’s going to take awhile for me to get over this. So in conclusion – the moral of this piece is – that it’s REALLY hard to write a love story about Liam Payne – when my heart is dancing to the beat of Julian’s drums.